Mobile Suit Gundam Thing
by Seraphina2
Summary: A parody of the Mobile Suit Gundam Wing manga. What if the people said what they REALLY thought? Please enjoy! Reviews and flames welcome!


Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing!!! This is a parody of the manga with MANY lines stolen from the manga... please don't sue... please enjoy!  
  
Mobile Suit Gundam... Thing: Is !! a Complete Sentence?  
  
Relena: "Father, even though I know it isn't because obviously shooting stars don't look like spacecraft, but is that a shooting star?"  
  
Relena: "And since my father isn't actually anywhere in this scene, I'll answer myself. No. It's a capsule for atmosphere entry, which I knew in the first place but didn't feel like saying."  
  
Relena: "What is that? You know, despite the fact that I already pointed out what it is."  
  
Heero: "... darn she's stupid"  
  
OZ TRANSPORT  
  
dude on radio: "Special Lietenant Zechs! We've located one of the capsules! It's big and shiny!!!"  
  
Zechs: "Somehow I know psychically that it should touch down in East Eurasia! It must be the capsule from the super-secret Operation M that I have no real reason to already know about. Despite the fact that this order is completely obvious, go after it!"  
  
Heero: "It's the Allies' attack transport. Why I am saying this out loud, considering no one can hear me, is unknown, but... Whoever saw my ride has to die because I take pleasure out of killing people."  
  
dude on radio: "Ignoring the fact that planes generally look at least somewhat like birds, A bird-like new fighter plane came out of the capsule, sir!"  
  
Zechs: "The egg hatched, huh? For now I'll forget the fact that transport capsules look nothing like eggs."  
  
soldier #1: "So, this fighter plane is the anti-Allies group's secret weapon."  
  
Zechs: "Duh. We can't let it get away."  
  
soldiers: "..."  
  
Zechs: "Shoot it down, you morons!"  
  
soldier #2: "Looks like the enemy's detected us, sir. Probably because we've been incredibly loud and noisy, and our ship is freakin huge. It's closing in."  
  
dude on radio: "Two MS Aries out for interception!"  
  
Zechs: "Roger! I'm going to be stupid and go out with MS Leo, the worst mobile suit in our entire line!"  
  
Zechs: "I'll show you how to fight in gravity!"  
  
soldier #1: "Uh, sir, I don't think the guy can hear you."  
  
Zechs: "Shut up, you're not supposed to have a line there."  
  
Zechs: *in MS Leo* "Here it comes! You know, like that wasn't made obvious by its heading very quickly in our direction."  
  
dude on radio: "What?!"   
  
Heero: *washes up onshore*  
  
Relena: "It's a body!"  
  
*LAP* *LAP* ^actual sfx  
  
Relena: "It's a body! That happens to be moving! But I harbor secret dreams of discovering a murder victim on the beach just like this so... it's a body!"  
  
Relena: "Is this a pilot suit? I mean, it has a helmet and looks exactly like one but..."  
  
Relena: "He's just a child. Of course, that statement means I consider myself one too."  
  
Relena: "Hey, are you alright?!" *mutter*"Please don't be... I've always wanted to find a dead body..."*mutter*  
  
Heero: "Mm..."   
  
Relena: "I'm Relena Darlian. What's your name?"  
  
Heero: "This is painfully obvious, considering you were holding me in your arms, but... You saw my face!" *hides face with hand*  
  
Heero: *draws gun* "Forget about my name. You must die!" "Goodbye."  
  
Relena: "What? I'm clueless and I don't realize that psychokiller + gun = runlikeheckasfastaspossible."  
  
Duo: *shoots Heero in arm* "You bad guys will never learn."  
  
Heero: "!"  
  
Duo: *blink* "How do you say that, anyway?"  
  
Duo: "Hey buddy! Don't move! Even though you already did."  
  
Duo: "Are you alright, lady?"  
  
Relena: "He was passed out on the ground before he tried to kill me! You ought to behave yourself!" (A/N: the only thing I added to that line was "before he tried to kill me". The rest is actual quote)  
  
Duo: "Uh... I'm the bad guy?" *blink* "Didn't I just save your life?"  
  
Relena: "But I have a thing for psycho-killers despite my pacifistic views on everything. Duh."  
  
Duo: "Oh, well. I guess I shouldn't stick my nose in."  
  
Heero: "In what?"  
  
Duo: *shrugs* "I dunno, I'm just reading the script."  
  
Duo: "I don't have a job at this point, but I've got to get to work. You guys stay there, alright?"  
  
Heero: "That means I can't kill you? And her?"  
  
Duo: *clicks device* *Gundam Deathscythe comes out of water to SPLASH sound effects* (A/N: yes, that's the actual sound effect. it's used three times in two pages.)  
  
Duo: *is suddenly standing on Deathscythe and is not wet, despite the fact that it appeared several yards offshore*  
  
*his braid is suddenly shorter*  
  
Duo: "Heh-heh, don't ask, even though I know you're going to. Say you didn't see this and I'll let you go, despite the fact that I've obviously already done so."  
  
Duo: "I picked up this cool thing at the bottom of the ocean on my way down here."  
  
Relena: "How could you go to the bottom of the ocean... on your way down here? Aren't we at a higher elevation than that?"  
  
Duo: "I'm not paid to make sense, lady. Anyway, I'm in a good mood today. Partly from shooting him, because he's going to be a total jerk to me later."  
  
Heero: "..."  
  
Heero: "You get PAID?!"  
  
Duo: "Actually, no. I just felt like ticking you off."  
  
Duo: "Let's see. I'm an expert at working this thing, but I still like to pretend I need to figure it out."  
  
*PULL*   
  
Relena: "Stop it, you two! Kids aren't supposed to fight with MS!" -- actual quote  
  
Relena: "Hm?!" *object offscreen makes ZOOM sfx*  
  
Heero: "It's the Allies' Aries!"  
  
Duo: "Now look what you've done!"  
  
*ZING sfx randomly appears*  
  
Heero and Duo: "!!"  
  
Relena: "Wow, how do you say that, anyway?"  
  
Heero and Duo: *start destroying Aries*  
  
Duo: "We'll do this later!"  
  
Heero: "Humph."  
  
Relena: "....." *looks really worried* *with smaller-than-normal hands, a bigger-than-normal head, and with a strange scar that wasn't on her neck before*  
  
AEF OZ FLEET, THE YANGTZE, CHINA  
  
Wufei: "My dear ride, Nataku. Hope we'll fight something more powerful next, even though I develop a complex whenever someone beats me in battle."  
  
SAINT GABRIEL SCHOOL  
  
girl #1: "Good morning, madam."  
  
Relena: "Good morning."  
  
girl #2: "Have you heard about the disturbance this morning? There was a MS battle at the shore. Wow, that's scary.... why am I responding to my own comments?"  
  
Relena: *moves with ! sfx*  
  
Relena: "Who is he?!"  
  
*note: no one has been pointed out or seen yet...*  
  
girl #1: *looks around until she finds what Relena is looking at* "He's a transfer student, Heero Yuy. Somehow I know everything except the cool parts."  
  
Relena: "Heero... Yuy..."  
  
Relena: *suddenly appears outside window* *and next to Heero*  
  
Relena: "Heero Yuy. I like your name. I'm glad to see you again because I have a death wish and a thing for psychokillers."  
  
Heero: "I almost forgot. We were interrupted this morning. Stand in awe of my powers of understatement."  
  
Heero: "Remember the fate of the one who saw my face and Gundam."  
  
Relena: "Um... you mean Duo? Didn't he leave perfectly unharmed? Actually, I think he shot you quite a few times..."  
  
Heero: "I will kill you."  
  
Relena: *looks totally, absolutely, and completely shocked*  
  
Heero: *after a few seconds of Relena looking shocked* "You realize I told you this earlier."  
  
Relena: "I forgot about that." 


End file.
